17/05/23: (Re)introductions
A quick post to inform folks about what exactly is happening here…
Writing and publishing substantial essays or articles has become a challenge. This is not because of a lack of ideas, but rather a matter of priorities. In September, I will be entering the third year of my PhD: a priority which has admittedly sucked most of the joy out of writing in my spare time. Guilt is powerful — and though it is hardly the worst of crimes, committing to any writing of significance beyond my thesis fills me with a repentant pang. Writing has become distasteful; a chore; villainous. Last year, a desire to write about food sprang forth. It is a subject of which I am a novice, but which was certainly the medium that dominated my senses during that time (certainly more than film, music, reading, etc’). The primary difficulty was in sustaining the format. As is often the case, I got bored of the “project” and the drive to write another article on food felt more like a distraction. A second albeit more emotionally-impacting difficulty was that I hated my writing style, abundant with all the usual crimes and naivete. Sincerity is always preferred to deflective irony, yet that earnestness is not always such a water-tight defence.
This diary-esque format will act as a method for writing in a way that is less rigid and more forgiving. The aim is not “to write something” but simply “to write”, if that at all makes sense. The intention is to create some kind of momentum that will both encourage this ‘hobby’ and aid in the writing process around my thesis. My doctoral supervisor and I both agree that ‘guilt’ is often the deadly bedfellow of ‘procrastination’ — not in a cynical lazy way, but in acknowledging that ‘productivity’ (that disgusting word) is not a linear process. Studying film entails engaging with film as a broader medium, regardless of any ‘specificity’¹. Thus, abstaining from one’s broader curiosity in film only encourages further disillusionment down the line. I’ve applied the approach to reading, and the result is my most productive year for reading since my adolescence. I’d like to extend this approach to writing.
As for what will be written about, I’m not too sure. The usual discussion points will be there, but my curiosity is far too unstable for that. This is more of an exercise designed to air my thoughts in a more public forum, but also to facilitate an online presence that is (marginally) healthier than the usual social network routes. I have a few ideas in mind for what to write about so if you have liked my writing in the past, or are just curious or whatever, please do watch this space.
D.S.
¹ I feel such rigorous ‘specificity’ is often the basis of much exhaustion that students face around subjects with which they’ve previously expressed a love — but that’s a digression for another entry.
